After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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