my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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