all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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