You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
