thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
