he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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