Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize