Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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