Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
