I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
