bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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