I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
