Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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