I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
