I'm jealous of your bromance
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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