It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
