I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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