don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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