idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
