I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
