How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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