Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
