i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
