Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
