Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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