Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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