All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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