The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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