just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
