I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
