I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
