Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
