he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
