What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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