Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
