You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
