She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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