when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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