Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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