): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
