this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
