What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
