My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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