We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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