There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
