Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
