You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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