Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
