If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
