what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
