i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
