Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
