Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
4 words: hood of his car
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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