You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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