The maid of honor just puked.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
